Emotional or mental abuse is a form of harassment aimed at controlling others by criticizing, humiliating, blaming, or manipulating. This harassment can occur in marriage, friendship, family, or work relationships.
Research shows that about 50% of adults have experienced emotional abuse in their lifetime. Not only adults, emotional abuse can also be experienced by children and adolescents. This is usually experienced by victims of bullying.
Characteristics of Emotional Harassment
Emotional abuse is one of the most difficult forms of abuse to recognize. Not necessarily overtly, this harassment can also be done implicitly and or through manipulative behavior.
Emotional abusers will usually consistently do so to gain control and power in a relationship. This method is also done by the perpetrator to damage the victim's self-esteem.
Here are the signs of emotional abuse that are important for you to know:
- Calling the victim rudely or inappropriately, such as the name of an animal or inappropriate speech
- Using sentences that are sarcasm, insulting, belittling, or jokes that demean the victim
- Embarrassing the victim in public
- Making threats subtly or blatantly
- Trying to make the victim question his own sanity (gaslighting)
- Punish the victim if he doesn't do what the perpetrator wants
- Making unreasonable requests
- Ignoring the needs of the victim and prioritizing the needs of the perpetrator
- Demanding the victim to spend all his time with the perpetrator
- Accusing the victim of being overly sensitive, selfish, or materialistic when the victim tries to defend himself
- Starting an argument or argument
- Manipulating the victim to feel guilty
- Blaming the victim for the perpetrator's shortcomings
- Monitor victims digitally, including their text messages, social media or email
- Acting very jealous and constantly accusing the victim of having an affair or betraying the perpetrator
- Threatening to hurt yourself, hurt the victim, loved one, or pet
- Abandoning victims, for example by ghosting
Overcome Emotional Harassment This Way
The effects of emotional abuse are just as bad as physical or sexual abuse. People experiencing emotional abuse may feel fear, hopelessness, shame, difficulty concentrating, moody, or certain physical symptoms, such as muscle tension or pain, heart palpitations, pain in certain areas of the body, or difficulty sleeping.
If it occurs over a long period of time, emotional abuse can make the victim withdraw from social life, feel anxious and guilty, and are at high risk for certain mental disorders, such as anxiety disorders, psychosomatic disorders, depression, or suicidal thoughts.
To avoid the bad effects of emotional abuse, there are several things you can do, namely:
1. Limit relationships with emotional abusers
The first way to avoid emotional abuse is to limit or cut ties with the abuser. Cultivate the courage to defend yourself by asking the offender not to speak harshly, yell, or insult.
Do not tolerate the behavior of the perpetrator and start to stop trying to please and refuse the request of the perpetrator.
2. Look for a more positive scope of relationship
Instead of continuing to be stuck in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser, it's better to find a more positive scope of relationship and can respect each other.
Try contacting an old friend who if it can help get out of this unhealthy relationship. In addition, you can also join a class or community to meet new people.
3. Stop blaming yourself
Victims of emotional abuse may be able to blame themselves. This may be due to the perception that they deserve the treatment or a lack of self-esteem. However, this assumption is not true.
Instead of blaming yourself, try to cultivate self-love and deal with the hurt feelings in a positive way.
4. Focus on yourself
In order to avoid the negative effects of emotional abuse, from now on, focus on yourself.
Apply a healthy lifestyle, such as eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, getting enough rest, and managing stress well. Also try to take the time to do me time.
A healthy relationship is certainly based on respect and acceptance of one another. Do not feel that you deserve to experience emotional abuse because this is a form of violence and a violation of human rights.
If you feel hurt, frustrated, confused, depressed, anxious, or worthless because of emotional abuse, try seeking help or talk to someone you trust.
You can also consult a psychologist or psychiatrist for help, especially if you are feeling down, depressed, or even suicidal due to emotional abuse.
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